Saturday, December 14, 2013

Much Too Soon.



How very quickly life can change.

I had to let Junior go. As you know, he had colic surgery on November 6th. The surgery went well and he seemed to be on the road to recovery. On Friday morning, December 13th, he colicked again. The vet diagnosed another impaction. Even after over 12 hours of constant veterinary care, by late evening it became clear that he was not going to recover. We'd had some hope as he started passing some manure around 9:30pm, but very quickly he escalated to violent rolling and throwing himself agains his stall walls. The drugs were no longer holding and it was clear that he was in too much pain. The last rectal exam revealed that he now had a colonic torsion.  I made the hardest decision any horse owner ever faces and I let him go. 

He was so good to me for 5 years. He was everything I needed and so much more. We had so many adventures together, but there were so many more we should have been able to have. He was my teammate, my heart horse, and my best buddy. The loss I feel is incredible. We were so lucky to be surrounded by our friends on Friday, including Junior's Other People.  Junior was surrounded by love all the time, right till the end. He will be sorely missed. Life can change so very quickly, make sure to appreciate all the gifts in your life. 

Happy trails, Junebug. I'll see you on the other side.


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36 comments:

  1. KarenDecember 14, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    Oh I am so very sorry. There are no words. *hugs* RIP Junior.

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  2. AnonymousDecember 14, 2013 at 6:35 PM

    I am so very sorry. Glad you were there to help him, but I know how horrible that decision is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  3. CTDecember 14, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    I am so very very sorry. RIP Junior

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  4. MareDecember 14, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    Oh my god. I am so so so so sorry to hear this.

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  5. in2paintsDecember 14, 2013 at 6:58 PM

    I am so terribly sorry. He was blessed to have you in his life for 5 wonderful years, and you definitely made some beautiful memories together. I know he appreciates all you did for him these last few weeks and that you were there for him right to the end. You, and everyone who loved and cared about Junior, are in my prayers.

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  6. pinkbellepinkDecember 14, 2013 at 7:38 PM

    So, so sorry to hear this. I've followed you for along time, and am sad to hear this. Thinking about you and how hard this is.

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  7. LauraDecember 14, 2013 at 8:23 PM

    I am so, so, sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you at this time - I can't even imagine how you must feel. :-( Hugs to you and farewell to Junior.

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  8. BeckyDecember 14, 2013 at 9:35 PM

    I am so sorry! This is very fresh for me as I lost Odie suddenly to colic just under 2 months ago. I know there is nothing to say that can fix it. I hope you have a good support system who understands, because it is a huge loss. They are never "just a horse". But I hope you can ease your way thought greiving, and be kind to yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

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  9. KalinDecember 14, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    So unexpected. I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine losing my boy........Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. There's nothing I can say to ease the pain. I'm just so sorry.

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  10. DomDecember 14, 2013 at 11:14 PM

    You don't know me, but my heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry :(

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  11. EmmiDecember 15, 2013 at 12:30 AM

    This breaks my heart into a million pieces when I read this. Nothing is harder than to lose one of our dear partners that we spend so much and time and commitment with. I am truly sorry for your loss...

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  12. DragonDecember 15, 2013 at 10:05 AM

    I am so sorry to hear this. :(

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  13. JustaplainsamDecember 15, 2013 at 11:24 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss. RIP Junior.

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  14. ninergirl04December 15, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    My heartfelt condolences in your great loss. They can bring us our highest of highs and, at times like these, our lowest of lows. Rest in the thought that you gave him so much love and adoration in the years you were blessed to spend with him. Take care.

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  15. AmandaDecember 15, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    Oh, no, I am so, so sorry. I'm heartbroken for you. Much love to you and all of Junior's other connections.

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  16. SheMovedtoTexasDecember 15, 2013 at 2:21 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

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  17. LindseyDecember 15, 2013 at 5:21 PM

    Oh my gosh. I'm crying reading this. I am so sorry for the enormous loss you're suffering. I wish I could take the pain away, because it's the one of the worst kinds of pain a horse owner can go though. I'm sure he appreicated you doing all you did for him, and I hope you will carry with you all the wonderful memories that you've made and shared with us through this blog. Prayers.

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  18. KarleyDecember 15, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    I am so sorry! We are all here for you! :( RIP

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  19. Liz StoutDecember 16, 2013 at 7:10 AM

    </3 I have no words.

    Thinking about you.

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  20. Sand.December 16, 2013 at 7:58 AM

    :( ohh. Huge hugs. Oh Junior. I'm so so sorry. All my heartfelt condolences. :(

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  21. JaiDecember 16, 2013 at 8:25 AM

    I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers to you.

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  22. TracyDecember 16, 2013 at 9:31 AM

    I am so very, very sorry to hear about Junior. My heart goes out to you in this tough time.

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  23. Beka BurkeDecember 16, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Very, very sorry for your loss. The heart breaks into fractions and they take a piece when they leave.

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  24. LynellDecember 16, 2013 at 10:10 AM

    So sorry for your loss. My condolences to you!

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  25. JessDecember 16, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    I'm terribly sorry for your loss. :'(

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  26. Mona SterlingDecember 16, 2013 at 11:14 AM

    I'm incredibly sorry and sad to read this. I hope Junior is up in pony heaven galloping through perfect fields and eating all the fresh grass.

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  27. Laura @ TheRoanyPony.comDecember 16, 2013 at 2:11 PM

    I'm in tears...I am so sad to learn of sweet Junior's passing...what an incredible life you gave each other. There just aren't words :-(

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  28. L.WilliamsDecember 16, 2013 at 2:15 PM

    I am very sorry, this whole thing is so painful and I truly feel for you. hugs.

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  29. Tevis StoriesDecember 16, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    So sad to read this. Hugs to you. The best ones will always hold a very special place in our hearts and are never truly gone. They live on in our hearts and minds and continue to ride with us forever. Blessings to you and Junior's OP as well.

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  30. WolfieDecember 16, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    So sorry for your loss. A very tough decision. Condolences.

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  31. RiderWriterDecember 16, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    Oh, no, no, no.... I am so very sorry. Shock and tears and such sadness for you. Your readers will never forget your Junebug, and thanks to your wonderful writing you have this blog to hold your own memories. Please take care of yourself - we are ALL thinking of you, and sending ((hugs)). Rest in peace, sweet boy.

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  32. eventer79December 17, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    Oh, SP, oh no. My heart breaks for you when hope was right there. Loss just sucks and it is all around us, all we can do is treasure the love we were given. Hugs to you and blessings to very very special Junior.

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  33. Rebecca WhiteDecember 17, 2013 at 10:44 PM

    Thank you all for your kind words. I am feeling very lost right now. I am distracting myself with travel preparations for the Holidays, but it is very difficult to do anything but stay in bed and cry. I know it will get easier, but right now it is very hard. I am overwhelmed by the support you've shown here and I am grateful to you all for being part of our lives.

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  34. Dog Heart HomeDecember 18, 2013 at 3:05 AM

    So very sorry - what a terrible loss. Thinking of you xxxxx

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  35. paint_horse_miloDecember 18, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    Wow Rebecca I'm so terribly sorry for this reslly unexpected and heartbreaking tragedy. .. I really thought junior was in the clear. I cannot even imagine what you're going through right now.
    I have followed your blog for some years now and have truly felt like j knew you and junior. Junior reminded me a lot of my milMilo and I always liked forward to reading your posts, seeing your videos and pictures, and seeing all the progress you two had made together. Junior had come into my thoughts a few times over the years in ways where I am reminded of something you posted. I really felt like I knew this horse as silly as this seems.
    Junior will be remembered and loved by more people then he knew. My thoughts are with you and honestly if you need to talk to have my email.

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  36. UnknownDecember 31, 2013 at 4:41 PM

    Oh My gosh! I just saw this today. I am so so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is.

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