Oh, Hi.

I just noticed it's been a month since I last posted.  Sorry, I don't know where the time went.

By the way, did I tell you I received a hand-written sympathy card from Smartpak?  I cancelled our SmartBugOff auto-ship and there was a "please tell us why you are canceling" set of boxes so I sighed and clicked the "Horse has passed away" option.  Then not long after I received a sweet card from them with a nice personal note.  Nicely done, Smartpak.

And as if we haven't had enough to mope about, sadly, I need to report that my best girl is gone.  Dear old Banee is young again and running through a green field somewhere, and I'd like to imagine she and Junior are swapping stories and having a good laugh.  Though I am very sad that she's gone, I've been prepared for this for a decade.  She was 34 years old, for heaven's sake, so it was her time.  She lived a grand long life and I am grateful for the lessons she taught me.  I'd been thinking a lot about her since I lost Junior because I had the scenario in my mind that he would be there for me to help me through losing Banee, just like he helped me though losing Lany.  I guess because losing him was such an unexpected shock, getting the news that Banee was gone wasn't as hard as I'd expected.  I burst into tears, of course, but it was short lived and I'm very much at peace with the knowledge that she lived a long and spoiled life and that she was able to leave this world with dignity and grace.  I don't feel the need to do a whole post on her, since I've really said all there is to say about her, but if you want to know more, there's a "Banee" tag on the sidebar that'll take you to the MANY posts that feature her, including our final visit last summer.  My only regret is that I don't have video of her nicker.  It was the sweetest you've ever heard.


Well, now. We have had simply too much sad shit happen lately, so let's just take a deep breath and move on to happier things.  Yes, let's.

I've been riding in my lessons once a week and in addition to Lillypony (who I've decided is my Therapy Pony) I've ridden two other lesson horses now, Beau and Super.  They're both sweet and they were fun.  BO is looking for another lesson horse that's more my style (ie not a pony or a 3' jumper) so I'm "helping" her by sending her all the ads for horses I think might fit the bill ie horses I would consider buying if I could even fathom that thought for more than a moment.   For now, I am enjoying getting to know Lilly and the other lesson horses.

I tagged along last weekend to an IEA show to be the BO's gopher and to help Lillypony make her IEA Zones debut.  Oh, and my barn's middle school team is headed to Nationals!!!  Woot!  This is why I try very hard to do all the things BO tells me to do in my lessons; she clearly knows what she's talking about.

Lilly was so popular at the show.  It was a lot like taking Debon to a show.  People just squealed over Lilly and a somewhat alarming amount of people asked if they could take a picture with her.  I know she didn't look like much when she was still a sasquatch, but after a body clip and a bath she looks super friggin adorable.  I'll get a photo on Saturday.  Adorbs.

On Saturday morning I begin my training at a local Humane Society to become a volunteer. I'm excited to have something to do with myself as well as all the doggy/kitty/bunny time I'll get in.  Who's really helping who here?

Then in the afternoon I get to go ride Lillypony AND Zip!  Zip's person moved out of our barn last fall because she got a farm of her own... jealous... but she's been hauling in to my barn while her indoor is still in progress...jealous... so it'll be a fun weekend.

I PROMISE there is a neat post coming about something that happened in March.  Soon. Promise.

The Year of the Horse

Though I've never attempted to pay attention to the Chinese zodiac, aside from the amusing paper placemats at buffets.  But this year, being the "Year of the Horse" I can't help but notice, and it seems to be a cruel irony.  The "year of the horse" is, for me, going to be a year WITHOUT the horse. I imagine this could have been a joyous driving theme for us as this was supposed to be our best year yet.  We had hit our stride at the end of last season, he was performing better than ever, and I finally felt like we could get ourselves into the best shape of our lives for the 2014 show season.  And then he got sick, but I just kept looking forward to that January 7th date when we could get back to work.  I was going to be so ready and thankful for my horse that we would work our collective tails off and by May we'd be ready to show.

But instead, last year must be considered our best year, since there will not be another year for us.
Although, perhaps, if I sit quietly and wonder WHY this must be the Year of the Horse.  I believe everything happens for a reason, so why is the world telling me to celebrate the horse instead of mourn the horse?

Because life must go on.  Because no matter how hard I wish, there is no time machine or magic wand that can bring him back.  So I must keep trying to go forward, even though it's hard.  As Dumbledore so wisely said to Harry when he was found gazing again into the Mirror of Erised; "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

As I mentioned, I am taking lessons again.  I had my first lesson on January 20th.  I felt like a fish out of water.  It's like I didn't know how to do anything.  It felt foreign to do up the halter clip, use two hands to lead a horse, put the reins over the head before removing the halter.  With Junior I could, and most often did, work with him with multiple safety violations.  I don't know why I felt the need to know I could trust my horse to obey without the safety restraints.  But now I need to follow all the proper safety protocols because this isn't my horse, or my bridle, or my grooming tools.  I had to get help figuring out a pad combination so my saddle could fit this 13.2hh pony instead of my 16hh horse.

After a long conversation with the BO about my new horseless riding goals, my anxiety about other horse, my severe out-of-shapeness, etc., so the Sillypony was assigned to Lillypony.  She's new to the barn and reminded me quite a bit of Debon in size, color, gait, and temperament.

I went to mount and she stepped off before my other foot was settled so I got a little spooked (OMG is this walk off leading to a BOLT!?!?... shut up, Overanxious one) but after about 30 feet of walking and I was over the fear of the bolt for now, but then I started to cry.  This is not my horse.  My horse is gone.  After a bit I was able to compose myself and we did a nice walk/trot lesson including a few poles and an Equitation pattern. Both Lillypony and I are rather out of shape so we were allowed multiple walk-breaks.  I shared the lesson with Junior's former Brofriend, Mystic and his owner. I'm sure Mystic shared my longing for a different mount, as Mystic detests all ponies, and we both miss the Bug. I cried again for a bit when I thought too much about how much Mystic must miss him and how his teeth-grinding was greatly lessened when the two bros were in turnout together.

But even with the emotional bubblings, overall the lesson was a good start. BO made the welcome suggestion that I stay with Lillypony for a few lessons until I feel more comfortable, so I expect I'll get to ride her tomorrow in our weather make-up lesson and on Monday in my regular weekly lesson.  I am very much looking forward to my upcoming lessons, but I certainly miss the privilege of being able to ride my horse any time I want to.  I remember when I first got Junior and first experienced that privilege; I was clueless about what to do on my rides!  Oh how much we learned in 5 years.

So, here's to the Year of the Horse.... and Thank You to Lillypony for taking the first steps with me.

At least the view has familiar colors.

Ohai.

A Weekend with Welshies!

While back in southwestern Minnesota visiting my parents I was asked to farm sit for my friend while she took two ponies up to a Welsh show. They cleaned up nicely, of course. :)

Though feeding 25 ponies and 5 horses is way more than work than I would like to do in the July prairie heat, (and that thermometer is in the shade!) it was so nice to see my old girl in our 31st year. She looks great for her age. She even had that sway back when she was 15. I did not have the urge to ride her.

She is in great shape and I know a light ride would not hurt her, but I think 16 years of carrying me is enough. Though she whinnied while loading the trailer like she wanted to go to the show, once I put her in cross-ties to groom her I could tell she wanted to go eat grass instead, so the queen got what she wanted, once she was fly sprayed and her mane was detangled. (Oh, how I do not miss those long tangly arab manes!) She deserves to be pampered. Each moment with her is a gift. Though I would rarely pass up an opportunity to ride any (trustworthy) horse, I think having a horse of my own is successfully satisfying my riding bug.

So many Ponies!!!! Notice the wind turbines?

My sweet girl!

Foto Flashback

I'm on vacation and was killing time reorganizing photos on my new computer and I found a picture I mentioned to in2paints about the joys of washing our horses butts. So here's me circa Nineteen Ninety Something washing the trailer-trots off of Banee at a show....

Enjoy!

And Then There Was Grace...

I have a dread of taking green horses to shows. I was VERY nervous about taking Junebug to his first one and he really didn't do anything crazy and gets better every time. Before Junior I had taken three different horses to their first (or first in a LOOOONG time) shows and all three acted like crazy idiots. Lots of factors are involved in this, but the biggest factors can be classified as 1) mileage (lack of) on the horse and 2) the fear or anxiety (in abundance) of the rider/handler. The first was Gigi who tried to beat me up at the county fair in halter class so I didn't show her in anything else and have only ridden her a few times since. I've spoken of Sonny before. The third was Grace. She was a gorgeous arab filly and sweet as pie. She became my lesson horse during the short time I was at an Arab barn in MN before moving to Ohio. The boss asked if I'd take her to a small open show and I was thrilled. She was fine to load, fine to unload, fine to warm up, fine to braid, fine fine fine. As soon as I remounted to head to our class she started gettin' uppity. We even needed the boss to lead us through the in gate... and then....

Here is the link if you'd rather watch it directly from YouTube.

I still get a little twitchy when I watch that video. She did have some lovely moments but I edited them out for time and because the crazy stuff is much more interesting. Did you notice all those nice paints and QHs we keep passing at warp speed? Yeah... and you wonder why I went and got myself one of those nice calm stock horses?

Grace went on that same summer to win something big at the MN 4-H horse show with a 16 year old kid and is now owned by a kid who takes lessons and shows. She really was a nice mare, we just had a bad, bad ride.

Unfortunate Wardrobe - A History

We have a saying in theatre to remind us that the audience sees our costumes "at 30 feet on a running horse" which is also true for show clothes, literally. Other than halter classes, the judge sees you from a distance, and in rail classes nearly totally from the side view. I like to be creative with my show clothes and making them myself is more cost-effective than buying custom or even off-the-rack.

Long before I learned anything about costumes I was interested in show clothes. It's honestly one of the reasons I wanted to show western. When I started showing English I didn't have my own tack and every piece of clothing I did have was either used or the "economy" (cheapest) thing of it's kind in the catalogs. I bought a used hunt coat for $25 and just sold it last spring for $25. I saw pictures in magazines and I had a Hobby Horse catalog in the early 90's. I didn't have money and I didn't know anything about sewing, but I wanted to look like the pictures I saw in the catalog. My first Western show outfit was black jeans (chaps were expensive and weren't allowed in 4-H so I just never had them) a white shirt, a red scarf, and a fashion vest that was my sisters.

I tried to make it a fitted vest by just taking in the sideseams and shoulder seams. I had cheap synthetic boots and a cheapo kids cowboy hat. My color (red) was selected because I just happened to have a red/gold vest and the hat came with a red ribbon on it. My saddle pad only matched because it was the trophy I won that morning (Reserve Champion Junior Showmanship) and was selected by my boyfriend who worked at the farm store sponsoring the trophies. He chose that pad because he knew I was using red. True story. Oh, and I did the Showmanship in English tack - but got a western pad as a trophy. I still have that pad. It's flat. I used that outfit in 1994 and 1995. There's no picture from '94 but Banee even looks embarrased that I'm wearing it, even though I "upgraded" to a tux shirt and a discarded prom bow-tie. Class. Pure Class. Note the (borrowed) buckstitched tack.

Somehow in '96 I convinced my mom to make me a vest. We bought a pattern from Suitability and some sparkly purple plaid fabric. Gold lamé piping was all over the catalogs so we did that, and gold buttons. I got a new purple/black blanket that year and a new hat for $25 that I'm STILL using. I got Ariat boots that year too that I'm STILL using. Lark looks just as thrilled with my choice as Banee always had.

The next year there was some BS about not allowing 4-Hers to wear anything but a white shirt so I went for simplicity in '97, my last year in 4-H. Oh the wonderful figure swallowing blousiness of the 90's.

In '98 I got my hat shaped and since I had an Arab thought the taco look was the way to go. I had a year of college under my belt and knew a little about sewing so I ripped the gold piping off and made self-covered buttons and a new tie...and matching showbow/hairnet. HOT.

I didn't show again until 2001 and by then I could sew fine on my own. The style had moved away from vests (we realized how much we looked like waiters?) and blouses were the way to go. I also discovered Show Clean shampoo that year. Look how Banee glows! I bought some chaps off ebay but they did NOT fit well. They were made for a fat kid, so though they fit in the thigh and waist, the rise on them was LOOOOOW, which is not a good look for chaps! I sold them right after that show for the same price I bought them for.

And of course you've seen the 2009 Purple sparkly number which will be sold this year as I move back to a totally neutral color pallette. Here's the design so far: I'm thinking about pairing it with a buckskin/tan hat, but I'm not sure how that's going to look.

Sad Day

Last evening a wonderful woman passed away. She was my first riding instructor and sort of a Grandmother figure for me. She was the most incredible mixture of grace and spitfire. When I met her on a spring day I was immediately enamored. She was like no one I had ever met. I was infatuated with her Boston accent, her tiny stature, and her eyes that twinkled like eyes only do in fairy tales. I came to her farm to learn to ride horses but I also learned to be brave and to do your own thing no matter what anyone else says. She opened her barn, her home, and her heart to me. We could not afford lessons, but she agreed to let me ride if I worked them off. I doubt she knew what she was getting herself into at the time. Probably thinking I was just another teenage girl who would clean a few stalls, ride a horse, decide it was too much work or that boys were more interesting and never come back. Instead I showed up with 4-H records (I was already showing my poultry) and got to work. It was slow, of course, at first because I didn't know HOW to do barn chores, but I caught on became more proactive, looking for projects to take on. Most of the time I was the only student. Sometimes her great-niece would come down from the Cities to ride or go to a horse show. That great-niece, Cari, and I hit it off immediately and are still good friends. Sometimes there would be other girls there, grand-daughters of friends, or distant relatives or Navy buddies, but most of the time it was just me. I soaked up everything she said like a sponge. I was fascinated by her stories of horses she knew, people she'd taught (including George Morris) while a student at "Margie Self's" school. That's Margaret Cabell Self of literary fame and founder of the New Canaan Mounted Troop. She told me about traveling around the country with her husband in the Navy, teaching lessons at the bases they lived on. I started riding Dino, then Lark, then Banee. Along the way I tried to work with some of the younger, less trained horses and she was happy to let me experiment but kept me out of too much danger. I was able to do a 4-H lease on her horses and take them to the county fair and the local show in June. They were just little local shows with dollar entry fees, but to me it was like showing at the Nationals. I treasured every ribbon, especially the hard fought ones. Cari and I would beg every year for lany to ride in the "Over-the-hill" class and kick butt. She would laugh and say "maybe next year." She generously gave me endless opportunities. I remember once (when I started to realize how expensive horse-keeping is) I said that I was sad I'd probably never have horses of my own. She looked at me and said, "Oh yes you will. Horses are a part of you. You'll have them." Of course, she was right. I'm sad that she was unable to share in my new horse ownership experience. She had been suffering from the effects of dementia for a few years. I think she would have liked Junior and I think he would have liked her. I can almost see her laughing because he would probably try to eat her hair.

My heart is heavy, but I am grateful for having been blessed with this woman in my life. I have many memories.

Thank you, Lany, for everything. Give Lark, Dino, Sonny, Red, Grey, and Ajax kisses from me.

This was in 1997 at my last 4-H horse show after winning the Senior Showmanship.

"A Retrospective: Banee, Dino, Lark, and Sonny" or "Thankful"

When I was 13 I was extremely lucky. Though my family could not afford to have a horse and couldn't really even afford lessons, I was still lucky. A wonderful woman let me ride and show her horses in exchange for stall cleaning, lamb feeding, docking lamb tails, (eeew, I know) and various other chores around the farm. There were 11 horses on the place when I started riding there and sadly most of them have crossed the rainbow bridge. Most were lost because of age, some because of unfortunate circumstances. Of the four horses I came to know best, only one is still walking this earth. I will share a little about the four of them in this blog entry.

My first mount was Royal Blazer, an early 20's flea-bitten 14.2 (barely) Arab gelding. He was named Dino by his previous owner; in honor of Dean Martin. He was one of those horses that you want a barn full of if you do ANYTHING with kids . He was broke to death and bombproof. You could do anything to him/at him/around him/on him. I did my first few shows with him and he took good care of me. Our first class in our first show was Open English Equitation. There were 5 riders. We came in 5th. I will never forget that "Oh when the Yanks played the Stars and Stripes On Iwo Jima High" was playing during my pattern and I was so terrified to be showing. After I got the first class out of the way I realized it wasn't much different than riding at home: someone says walk, you walk. Someone says canter, you canter. Our next class was English Pleasure and we came in 1st. We also showed in the Costume Class that day and won 1st. He was a great horse. At the age of 24 he was humanely euthanized after a very seriously broken leg that had very little hope of recovery. Here are a few pics of him. Try not to judge my riding in any of these pictures, I've had a lot of good training in the last few years!





My next horse was Banee. Banee is a gorgeous pure white 14.2 7/8ths Arab mare. She came to the farm during my first few years of riding. I showed her the first summer after I stopped showing Dino, and then she was my last show horse from that farm. She is 29 (my age) and is still so beautiful in my eyes. She was a handful. She'd been highly trained in everything from barrels to dressage. She could collect any gait down to doing in nearly in place and would hand gallop with the slightest cue. She would jump anything you pointed her at. She has the softest nicker I've ever heard. You can see by the pictures that she didn't have the best conformation, but was extremely athletic. In the one picture I'm washing her rear because she ALWAYS got diarrea on the way to shows. You'd think she'd be fine on a 6 mile ride, but no. I learned after a while to at least wrap her (oddly short) tail so I just had to clean her butt and legs. I remember being mad someone took a picture of this, but now it's just another funny memory of Banee. I remember the day we discovered she'd been a game horse. We were supposed to jog around some jump standards (the kind that are just like poles), changing our diagonals. When it was my turn I asked her for a trot and she took off running and weaving her way through that pattern like she'd done it a million times. "I told you to TROT!" "I din't do ANYTHING! I didn't even steer that. That was all HER!" So many things she could do. She was a hoot at shows. Would act like a crazy horse. We had multiple judges ask us if she had been trained saddle-seat. Who knows. Sound like a perfect horse? Weeeeellll, she would refuse to walk when she was excited. Not so good for pleasure classes. She would rather trot in place than actually break down to a walk. She was so super sensitive that she gave me the bad habbit of riding with my legs stuck out to the sides. She took the slightest pressure as a cue to do something BIG. How many flying lead changes can a horse do in a straight line? How long is the line? Our last 4-H show we came away with Champion Sr. Showman, Champion Sr. English, Reserve Champion Sr. Western, and Reserve Champion Sr. Game Horse. We didn't HAVE an OVERALL highpoint for that show, but I got the first slot for the State Horse Show, so I was highpoint. We never got to show the State Show. It was an expensive trip and the show was after school started and I had to go off to college.

Oh, and YES, my hat IS on backwards in that one. It was right after Versatility class (also explains the kinky forelock) and I think my Dad put the hat on my head for me and I trusted he'd put in on the right way. I didn't realize until I took if off after the class (and this picture) that it was backwards. Nice outfit, too, huh? Who doesn't love metallic purple plaid? Shut up, my mom made that... well, my mom made it with gold lame piping and gold buttons, but I ripped it apart, took the piping out and made a different tie based off of what I saw in the Hobby Horse catalog. I was pretty well dressed considering most people at the show didn't have pants long enough to tuck into their boots..... Sorry, snarky tangent... THAT would be a funny blog entry: my bad show outfits of the 90's......

Next came Meadow Sweet Lark. Lark was probably 15 hands, I don't remember. She was a 3/4 arab, 1/4 Quarter Horse. I had to EARN the right to ride her. Both from my instructor AND from Lark. She was smart and didn't tolerate beginners. She was afraid of EVERYTHING.... at HOME. At shows she would fall asleep. At home: head straight up in the air, prancing sideways "OMG a HOSE!!! OMG my STALL!" OMG a TREE!" "Everything is going to EAT ME!!!!" At a show: head hanging, lip flopping, "Zzzzzzzzzz." "Go forward? Do I have to? can't I just yawwwwwn stay right here?" She was the most talented of the bunch. Sadly after one summer full of blue ribbons and tropies she had to be retired. On our first ride the next spring she was lame at the trot. It was like her back feet were taking tiny steps, not at all her usual gait. We called the vet and it was concluded that she must have slipped during the winter and pulled all the tendons in her croup. It's what happens when horses back feet go out from under them sideways. Ouch. She was sound for hacks around the farm and for ponying little kids, but no more showing. I finished my High School years with Banee.






I was given the chance to spend one more summer at the farm before I went off to grad school. In my dumber days I had attempted to show The Prodigal Son, an unmarked bay Arab gelding in showmanship. I thought he would do fine ... he did it fine at home, after all. He walked all over me at the show to the point of almost being dangerous and spent the rest of the day jogging in the trailer. Wasn't a good day. He is STILL (knock on wood) the only horse to ever really buck me off....in the middle of the hay field and then take off for home...without me. Some girl leased him for a summer that next year and took him to one show. He did fine aside from cantering on the wrong lead the whole time. He was completely well behaved. So I decided to make him my summer project that year after he'd had a few years off. He ended up being a very good boy. Cari, my long time show partner came down for the show so we took both Banee and Sonny. The judge that day was "totally blind" or at least I have my mom in the background of the video saying so, so we didn't do very well ribbon wise, but I thought his behavior was a tremendous victory. We switched horses for the western classes and Cari ended up with 1st on him in "Bridle Path" Western Pleasure.



So there's my fab four from my younger days. None of them were perfect, none of them were "mine" but I am very thankful for all the lessons they taught me. I am thankful my dear Banee is still with us. She's fat and happy and is spoiled rotten.