Eq·ui·lu·tion
| (i-kwe-lōō'shən) n.
My 2018 Equilution was to remember why I love horses. Had I really forgotten why I loved horses? Yes. Yes I did. How did it get that bad? -I hadn't really gotten "over" Junior's loss (and I still haven't TBH) - The financial strain Huck's injuries and maintenance put on me - The barn drama about all the fences he broke through -how badly my back hurt when I was trying to show him at Congress. I surrendered. As I think back on it, it reminds me quite a bit of a car accident I was in in 2006. I was next to a truck that changed lanes directly into me, pushing me off the Interstate at 75 mph. We both overcorrected trying not to go in the ditch and our vehicles hit a second time, sending my car spinning into the ditch. I remember the moment of clarity in which I realized I no longer had any control over the vehicle. I surrendered and took my hands off the wheel. So now a year later I contemplate where I am mentally, physically, and financially. People are still asking me if I've gotten a new horse. My BF and I went to a Christmas Dinner Party two weeks ago with a bunch of my horse friends. In the car on the way home he says "Baby, you need to buy another horse. Horses make you so happy - you were having so much fun tonight talking about horses." Truth. So here's where we are. My back is touch and go. Disk bulges suck. Mine are L5S1 and L4L5 so they're PERFECT for riding! Ha! I am trying to be more consistent with my exercises and I'm trying to eat fewer inflammatory foods. I was taking weekly reining lessons, but had to stop for a bit because I was in too much pain. I'm seeing my Witchdoctor on Wednesday, crossing my fingers I get the OK to ride, though I think I need to hold off on the sliding stops for a few more weeks. My poor trainer. He coaches and trains these NRHA people and I'm over here like "Can we just do small-slow circles for my whole lesson?" 😆I suddenly feel like an old lady. So what are my goals for 2019? I just want to get to the point where I feel like writing a big expensive check for a horse and taking on the responsibility of expensive board and unexpected vet expenses seems WORTH IT. When will that be? Each month I don't pay board/farrier/vet/dentist/chiro/massage, my horse purchase budget grows. I've only every bought craigslist project ponies. I think I deserve something a little nicer this time around. So I'm not in a hurry. I like seeing the account increase every month, and I should probably be a more responsible adult and not drain the horse account to zero with the purchase. I never had a money cushion with Junior or Huck, and I think I'd be less stressed out if I had one. You know; Adulting. So much is up in the air right now that I really can't make any more goals. I don't even know if I will be showing this summer. I guess you'll just have to stay tuned to find out what 2019 will bring to this Overanxious (Former/Future) Horse Owner. Happy New Year!
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I think this all sounds very exciting! As a fellow back-pain sufferer, I feel you - I have facet joint arthritis in 4 of my lower vertebrae joints, fortunately injections help it a lot, but it still gets cranky.
ReplyDeleteI fully support old lady riding, LOL, I have done nothing but occasional short bouts of walk & trot with baby horse. I know all my muscles are about gone, but it still feels good to just sit on a horse. So glad to hear that you are getting to enjoy that view!
I hope you get that fancy and fun dream horse you deserve, it's hard to let go of the pain of losing our horse loves, but it gets better a little everyday.
ReplyDeleteThe BEST thing I did was take the time I needed after my first horse passed. I kept riding, but the break from owning (and all the financial and emotional stress that comes with it) was SO worth it for me.
ReplyDeleteTake all the time you need to get healthy and happy, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. I bet it'll be worth it!