10 hours later.

I bought a horse this morning. I did. I took my trainer to see him this morning and with her enthusiastic approval, I said I'd take him.

I have to wait a few days before I get to bring him home because he just wouldn't load into my Honda Civic. I guess a 16 hand Paint Gelding doesn't care for the back seat. Oh well.

We'll go get him next week, which should give me plenty of time to stop shaking and feeling nauseated. Why am I shaking and nauseated? Because I BOUGHT A HORSE!!!!! This is the biggest big-ticket item I've ever purchased, next to the aforementioned Honda, of course, and my college education, but that's not the point of the story. I am a high-anxiety individual. I just am. I manage it, I get lost to it, I celebrate it, and I loath it, all at the same time. I found a wonderful horse that I think will be a wonderful friend and show partner. He's beautiful, and strong, and solid, and kind. So what's there to be anxious about? Lots. The things that go through my head include the state of the economy (will I be able to care for him financially?), the recently discovered loss of my nerve (a few years off made me a suddenly timid rider), what if he gets sick? What if it turns out he hates me? What if I am too busy at work to ride him? There are a lot of "what ifs" in my life. I know that's not so great. I'm going to use this blog to talk about some of those things and reflect upon how I got "here."

Just a note: though the above paragraph sounds oddly grim, I AM SO HAPPY!!!! I have been waiting/working a long, long time to be able to have a horse of my very own. It's hard to believe it's finally happening!